In Need of a Laugh?

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In need of a laugh? I came across these when I was having a bit of a sort out… Actually I am almost always in need of a sort out. My superpower is chaos. 

I have had this book called My Favourite Howlers for over 40 years. It’s by Cecil Hunt and it was first published in 1951.

Anyway, here are some of Cecil’s samples from students’ essays or exam answers. They still make me laugh after all this time…

 

Where was Caesar born? Caesar was born in triumph to the capitol.

 

Thomas a Becket met Henry on the altar steps and said, “ What ho King!” Henry massacred him severely.

 

Who was Joan of Arc? She was a very nasty lady. She was such a witch they burned her.

 

When there are no fresh vegetables, you can always get canned.

 

Nowadays it is possible for farmers to breed by artificial insinuation.

 

A chatelaine is a French cat keeper.

 

The locusts were the chief plague. They ate all the first born.

 

You should always say hippopotami when there are more than one hippopotamuses

 

What is quartz?  A number of pints

 

A gargoyle is seen on church towers and people’s necks. They come whether you like it or not.

 

The doctor is intoxicating my mother every week. He says she needs it regularly.

 

King Henry VIII’s  next marriage was childless because a blight was put on the onion.

 

In the United States people are put to death by elocution.

 

Sins of omission are ones we have forgotten to commit

 

And there are plenty more where those came from… My Favourite Howlers by Cecil Hunt (Ernest Benn Ltd)

 

 

 

Kitty Parsons

Kitty has forgotten how long she has been here now but she loves Pembrokeshire for its beauty and it's people. She spends her time searching out stories for pembrokeshire.online, swimming in the sea , drawing and painting as Snorkelfish and eating cake. She says "Pembrokeshire.online has been an opportunity to celebrate this beautiful county and its people. Keep the stories coming. We love to hear from you."

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