Happy New Beginning for Emma


We were sure those of you who followed Emma Wishart’s serialised account of living much of her life with undiagnosed autism would want to know her latest news. We asked Emma for an update and she sent this delightful poem. I have to tell you, I just love the last verse. 


The Cave of the Mirror

Call me a perfectionist – I would never settle for a man

Unless I loved them true

At eighteen my heart fixed on someone

Nobody else would do


It seems the time wasn’t right for us

We passed like ships in the night

Friendly but never together

Though he set my soul alight


And so I stayed single, not waiting or hoping

For hope I harboured none

But not settling for second best

Living a life of one


Yvonne Elliman ungrammatically said it

In a song in the Seventies

“If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby”

A mantra upon which I seized


I visited a Holy Well

Said to cure a broken heart

I drank of the water but to no avail

To him my thoughts still start


I tried hard not to think of him

But this only made it worse

For then into my dreams he’d steal

I’d be happy, for a second, til day burst


Long years of pining, of wondering about him

Occasionally Face-stalking, not much to see

A wife, a house, beautiful children.

Not my children, none of the three


He wrote a novel, a ballet, a play, an album

An incredibly talented man

Full of art and amazing music

Surely the Yin to my Yang?


I read his words and felt close to him

Assuming he’d never know

I wandered the world, or bits of it

Thinking of him as I go


In New Zealand a Maori cave I found

Reputed to grant your desire

Sacred and tapu was this beautiful spot

Unsullied by any save I


The Cave of the Mirror, it was called

Deceptively deep, warm and clear

Heated by geothermals

Rising from the heart of our sphere


Whenever a chance to make a wish

Occurred, it was such a hurry

A shooting star, birthday candles

Quick! Make a wish! All a-flurry


My gut reaction, my go-to wish

My knee-jerk reflex given voice

To quickly say what I most desired

You can guess, this man was my choice


But I sensed this cave was a serious business

So solitudinous, sacred, and still

I resisted making my usual wish

For what reason? Listen, I’ll tell


I felt I was forcing the Universe

To bend and warp to my will

No more would I try and coerce fate

To oblige me and fulfill


My desire for a man who clearly, I assumed

Was happy in his life

I had no wish to break up a family

I would give up this strife.


A good half hour I sat there

Feeling something of a fool

Making sure to make a weighty wish

Worthy of the sacred pool


At last, up to my waist in the water

I settled on something I needed;

The ability to live without being tortured

By people – an idea was seeded.


I set about making a plan

To render the wishing pool real

I did succeed in a life of peace

For a decade, in a forest, I healed


Eventually back to the world of humans

I forged a path anew

Still thinking of my long lost love

Now single again, I knew


Diagnosed with autism I joined some groups

For people just like me

I met a lady with his daughter’s name

Really … could she be?


Yes, the shape of her face, the shape of her chin

Were his, beyond a doubt

She was the right age, she lived near him

I had to find out.


“I used to know your dad!” I commented

We hit it off from there

One day she offered to put us in touch

I could only giggle and stare


The Wishing Cave of the Mirror it seemed

Had read the true wish of my heart

It only took 20 more years

But now, at 50, my life can start


The rest, as they say, is history

I finally got my whim

To quote from a classic book, Jane Eyre

Reader, I married him



Emma Wishart, now Emma Watts, was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 45 when, as she says, “everything suddenly started to make sense, or at least the reasons why nothing made sense started to become clearer”. She now lives in Pembrokeshire, working hard to raise awareness, understanding and acceptance of autism.  She marrid her lifelong love in September 2021. 

We offer our heartiest congratulations to Mr Howard and Mrs Emma Watts and wish them much joy of each other.

Kitty Parsons

Kitty has forgotten how long she has been here now but she loves Pembrokeshire for its beauty and it's people. She spends her time searching out stories for pembrokeshire.online, swimming in the sea , drawing and painting as Snorkelfish and eating cake. She says "Pembrokeshire.online has been an opportunity to celebrate this beautiful county and its people. Keep the stories coming. We love to hear from you."

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