Death of a Friend… and Reminder about Dry January

John Jones in better times

Just before Christmas, a friend of mine died after what I saw as a long-term challenge involving alcohol. John was not a Pembrokeshire man. He was Essex born and brought up, and we worked together until I moved to Pembrokeshire.

We remained friends and kept in touch on and off but, more lately, another friend advised me that our dear mutual friend was in a bad way, and we reconnected. John had been funny, clever, proud and kind. His home always looked immaculate.

I didn’t realise at first how ill he had become, but over this past year his health took a plummet. As this happened, his confidence evaporated, and I believe he became prey to those taking advantage of his vulnerability. Our wonderful friend Julie and others nearer to him did their best to support him; but though he tried to rally, he slipped back over and over.

I was far away from him but we spoke on the phone most days. If I was especially concerned, I would alert Julie to call an ambulance for him or a police check, and she would call me if she thought he just needed another person to chat with him and offer encouragement.

John told me many times that he did not want to die, but he did a couple of weeks before Christmas, on his own, leaving a space we cannot hope to fill. I think this has prompted me to post this.

Maybe someone reading this will take a step that will prevent them ending their life as John’s has ended…

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Dry January

I first came across the concept of Dry January when I moved to Pembrokeshire some years ago. It was thanks to the lovely Mark Mordey, who was working with Alcohol Awareness at the time, and over the next few years I attended his annual events in Fishguard and partook of some of the new non-alcoholic options that were just becoming available.

I didn’t find them palatable, but things have improved greatly since then with the arrival of much more sophisticated non-alcoholic beverages, some of which boast botanicals that give a bit of a “lift”. Having tried some, I have to agree. Some can make you feel in a party mood, but they tend to be very expensive.

The first Dry January challenge was in 2013, with 4,000 people taking part nationally. Thirteen years later, in 2025, the organisation Alcohol Change said that the number was more like 200,000.

If you have taken up the challenge, then the following information may be redundant, but it may be useful if you want to start but need a bit of a push, or get halfway through the month and need a bit of advice or information.

Alcohol Change advises to think in units and to restrict your general drinking to no more than 14 units a week.

14 units is about six pints of normal-strength beer or a bottle and a half of wine per week. If you are used to drinking every day, why not try a few alcohol-free days each week?

If you aren’t geared up for doing this in January, what’s to stop you preparing for a Dry February – or some other month that feels convenient?

There are apps and information that you can download for free on https://alcoholchange.org.uk/.

Many organisations offer support if alcohol is a problem (or becoming a problem) for you or someone you care about. Here are a few:

Al Anon is for the families and friends of alcohol-dependent individuals: https://al-anon.org/.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has online and in-person meetings almost every hour of the day and night and offers support online too at https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/.

Alcohol Change: alcoholchange.org.uk/.